MINNEAPOLIS – Thinking to himself, the former 38th Governor of Minnesota Jesse Ventura has reportedly suggested he put forth his own name to succeed Governor Mark Dayton in the upcoming November election. “Given the sad state of things that this political system [and active conspirators] have brought this state to, I think they could use another dose of the Ol’ reformer himself” thought the former pro wrestler and Reform Party candidate.
Ventura, who is remembered fondly, by himself, for such things as creating a 4.5-million-dollar budget deficit, failing to reform the Minnesota legislature into a unicameral system, and suing the American Sniper, has begun his campaigning already.
The current host of the Russian Television series The World According to Jesse and conspiracy theorist thought to himself that being governor again would help reverse the long standing partisan blockade and expose the state to a variety of truths; such as the fact that Bush family knew about 9/11 and did nothing, the bees are disappearing because they are aliens going back to their own planet, and that wiener dogs are actually just bald corgis.
The former governor was excited to hear that the former governor was considering running, and could be heard exclaiming “It’ll be just like old times, but with a better hairdo!” At press time, the former governor had raised $10 in individual contributions for his campaign from former governor Jesse Ventura.