MINNEAPOLIS — Hot damn! The sun has returned, baby! Minnesotans are fucking stoked that it’s once again socially acceptable to be publicly intoxicated every weekend until Labor Day.
Locals are jumping at the not-at-all alarming routine of midmorning brunch mimosas rolling perfectly into the dark and stormys paired with afternoon sushi as a standard pregame schedule for concerts, sporting events, and house parties taking place during the evening hours. We’re here for a good time, not a long time, especially with what few weeks of shorts weather we have left, am I right???
The rooftop vistas and ambitious drink specials will be quenching the thirst of us fun-loving alcoholics. No more crying over Two Buck Chuck in our pajamas during a snow emergency, because all the Minnesotan mommies and daddies are out in the full force of shameless self gratification.