PED Test Administered to 6-Year-Old Arm Wrestler Following Match With Uncle Roy

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MANKATO — The US Anti-Doping Agency has ordered Brynlee Anderson, age six, to report for mandatory performance-enhancing drug tests following her victorious bout against her godfather, Roy Anderson.

Officials have raised questions surrounding the validity of the competition, but will await the USADA’s findings before making any decision regarding a fine or suspension for Brynlee who, if tests positive for PEDs, will be a first-time offender.

“We were confident in Uncle Roy’s ability and stamina as a steelworker to walk away from that match with a win,” claimed USADA Spokesperson Agnes Gable, “But by the end, what we saw was an unnatural show of strength in Brynlee, after being so close to defeat several moments prior.”

The match occurred during an extended family meal at the River Hills Mall Olive Garden where Brynlee’s alleged victory awarded her with the last breadstick.

Immediately following the match, Uncle Roy claimed that his niece had crushed all of the bones in his right hand, but will not press charges at this time. He later commended Anderson for being “a little stinker”.