Local Fucking Idiot Confuses Viceroy Butterfly for Monarch

Original image by  Rodney Campbell

Original image by Rodney Campbell

While out walking his dog Tuesday, Elk River resident Roy Watkins, 32, mistook a viceroy butterfly for a monarch, forever cementing his status as one of the stupidest fucking numbskulls over 200,000 years of human evolution has ever produced.

Watkins reportedly announced “Look! A monarch!” to no one in particular while staring slack jawed at a butterfly of a completely different fucking species, falling for an evolutionary illusion meant to fool simple creatures with brains smaller than peas. The sheer idiocy of the brain-dead comment caused Watkin’s cocker spaniel Daisy, 2, to tilt her head slightly to the right as if to ask “is this dumbass serious?”.

How a total ignoramus incapable of identifying the horizontal black line across the post-median hindwing that differentiates Limenitis archippus from Danaus plexippus could manage to survive for over three decades without forgetting to breath, let alone keep a pet alive, remains a mystery.