Jason Lewis Workshops New Set of Offensive Statements for Senate Campaign

Shortly after announcing his intention to run for US Senate, former Minnesota Congressman, Jason Lewis got to work cooking up some new reprehensible statements for the campaign.

Lewis represented Minnesota’s 2nd congressional district in Congress until he was unseated by Angie Craig in the 2018 midterm elections. During his 2016 and 2018 campaigns reporters unearthed several shockingly distasteful comments from his time as a talk radio host, including comments that claimed that black people had a ‘mentality of entitlement’, equated gay couples to ‘rapists’, and lamented that he couldn’t call women sluts anymore.

“I really set the bar high in those past elections” Lewis said during his campaign announcement, “I am really gonna have produce some repulsive bile to top those doozies.”

Campaign insiders report that Lewis has devoted considerable campaign resources to concocting a new round of completely indefensible remarks, including hiring teenage trolls as interns to help him brainstorm vulnerable targets to berate.

“In 2016, the good people of Minnesota really got behind the abhorrent dribble at nearly any moment,” continued Lewis, “and in 2020, I am committed to giving them the same level of debased idiocy that they can count on.”

Before concluding his press conference, Lewis took out a notepad and started pitching some ideas he has “been stewing on” by reciting a bulleted list of the groups that he intends to target. Reading each aloud, Lewis said “queers, dummies, sluts (women), male sluts (gays), grandmothers, kayakers, residents of any city larger than 3,000 people.” Adding, “The people of Minnesota deserve someone who can insult them all.”

“Ok, so I’ve always wanted to say this about the Jews. . .”, he said.