Ice Fishing Explained to Cousins from Florida

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During an extended weekend visit from relatives, Minneapolis native Sarah Henderson found herself describing the intricacies of ice fishing to her dumbfounded cousins from Florida. After spotting multiple ice shanties on Lake Harriet in passing Tristan and Sadie McCormick were baffled by what they saw. “Who built those tiny houses on ice!? Don’t they know it will and eventually melt?” asked Tristan, “their homes are doomed!” Following Ms. Henderson’s explanation that the people were fisherman who were voluntarily on the ice for recreational purposes, the Floridian children lost their goddamn minds with Sadie exclaiming, “They sit on ice for fun? Have they ever done literally anything else?”

Ms. Henderson struggled to explain the common Midwestern practice of driving trucks onto a frozen lake and drilling a hole in the ice supporting those same trucks to her cousins in terms they could understand. The Jacksonville, Florida teenagers had a difficult time accepting the boredom, discomfort, and hard work thousands of Minnesotans endure each year for a few fish. “So there’s at least electricity and heat in those shack things, right?” asked Sadie, adding that “someone should tell those people you can just buy fish at a grocery store or restaurant.” Ms. Henderson went on to explain to her astonished cousins that ice fishing is about camaraderie and tradition, adding that people die every year doing it.

Still recovering the shock of learning about such a strange pastime, the Floridian teens expressed relief they would soon return home, just in time for gator wrestling season.