BLOOMINGTON — After doing all that was asked of him by voting in the Midterm Elections and nothing more, area man Danny Krautz looked in the mirror and sincerely thought “I am a hero”.
Mr. Krautz, a marketing manager who has historically stayed away from politics and done as little as possible for the public good, believes himself to be a champion of democracy. “This was really important, my country needed me. And you know what? Danny delivered. You’re welcome America.” Mr. Krautz said after doing literally the least he could do.
Mr. Krautz, an able bodied man with excessive amounts of free time and money, did not canvass, volunteer, or otherwise engage in the political discussion whatsoever.
After dedicating the smallest amount of time feasible to the future of the nation, Mr. Krautz reported feeling inspired by his self-described sacrifice— an act that is nearly expected of him. “Brave? Courageous? Sure. But the real champion is, um, whats-her-face. The one I voted for.” Mr. Krautz said, referring to Senator Amy Klobuchar.