MINNEAPOLIS — Downtown commuters are voicing concerns over the Target Plaza video board displaying a harrowing message yesterday afternoon, suggesting the commencement of an anarchistic murder spree.
The bright electronic video display atop the retail giant’s 33-story corporate headquarters had previously been used as a charming visual feature that punctuated the downtown Minneapolis skyline with colorful animations.
Peter Kingston, an executive assistant at U.S. Bancorp, doubted the legitimacy of the message. “I’m sure it’s nothing. It’s probably just a typo or something.”
The sound of emergency sirens were initially viewed as a cause for concern, although downtown residents promptly remembered that it was the first Wednesday of the month.
The Minneapolis Police Department ensures that there is nothing to worry about. “We have the situation under control. What’s most important is that everyone remains calm, and stays inside.” said a spokesperson for the MPD before putting on a sinister plastic mask.
The video board remained illuminated for several hours before a localized power outage caused a blackout that stretched from Hennepin Avenue to South Marquette Avenue. Xcel Energy trucks were reportedly seen fleeing away from the affected city blocks.
When telephoned for comment Target officials could be heard breathing deeply into the receiver.