Amy Klobuchar Formally Announces Run for Vice President

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In front a crowd of thousands of supporters in Minneapolis’ Boom Island, veteran Minnesota Senator announced that she will officially be running for the second highest office in the country.

“We live in an era where the very foundation of our democracy, of the future of our country is at stake” Klobuchar said to the roaring crowd, “and in these trying times, we need someone who would be the Vice President who would fearlessly stand by the actual President as they make all the decisions.”

“I am that person,” she said, followed by an eruption of cheers.

During a post-rally press conference, Klobuchar was asked if she ever considered running for president. “Oh please,” she said with a bemused look, “everyone knows I wouldn’t have a chance!”

Noting that the current climate of the Democratic Party would make it impossible for a Midwestern moderate to win the nomination, Klobuchar commented on some of the other Democrats that have thrown their hat into the ring.  “Kamala Harris. Elizabeth Warren. Cory Booker. These are just some of the contenders that I would be happy to fill in for if they die in office”.

“The road ahead won’t be easy,” she continued, “to run a successful campaign, we will need to get the word out. We will need to canvass and correct people on how to say my name. We are going to put out yard signs with my name in small print. We’re all going to try to stay awake during my debate with Mike Pence. The challenges will be great”,  she said.

“But they will not be insurmountable; if we persevere, in a little over a year and a half, I will be meeting the foreign ambassador of Kazakhstan in my office across the street from the White House” she concluded before walking off stage to thunderous applause.